twi.gs

I obtained piece of tres leches cake from the latin market near my work. I don’t speak Spanish, they don’t speak English so it’s amazing anything gets accomplished. The tres leches cake is a very rich cake, something I can’t eat in a single sitting. Last night I had a few bites of it and placed it in the refrigerator. This morning, when I peered inside to grab my yogurt for a tasty breakfast of oatmeal and yogurt, I couldn’t help but notice someone had eaten half of my picked at cake.

It’s common knowledge that people will eat your food if you put it in the office fridge. It’s also been proven that writing your name on it does nothing to curb this behavior. It’s news to me, however, that people still don’t realize it’s not their food when you’ve already began to eat it. They’ll just pick around it and think nothing of it.

There’s only one clear solution to this problem. I’m going to start poisoning my half eaten food. It is only with this method I’ll be able to determine who the culprit is beyond the shadow of a doubt. When they’re doubled over in pain, I’ll jump from behind the bushes and shout “Ah Ha!”.

Iocane powder will be my poison of choice. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.